YOU ARE AFRAID OF LOVE!

Last night was a sleepless night. I did a lot of reading and meditating and something in particular jumped at me from "The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking". I'm sharing it here. This chapter is on Passion and Desire.....

Jeshua says: 

"You are afraid of Love! Take a deep breath now. You will not be able to heal that wound until you embrace it. You will not be able to move to the next level of your Self unless you first accept your fear of love. Then your passion will be released on its own without effort on your part. Then you will open like a flower, and your Holy Task will enfold you. Your fear of love will ultimately catapult you into a life you can only imagine now, for then you will have compassion for yourself and all the world. This is what an Emissary of Love, or a savior, must learn. That is why you are here now, reading these words and accepting these Blessed thoughts. You are ready to move forward now."

 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!! come to think of it, I still am. I'm afraid of being taken advantage of and be made to look like a fool when love is not 'reciproacted'. I'm afraid to love because hypocrisy does'nt fall too easy with me. I'm afraid of love ..... too many reasons, which now when I think of, I always felt like it was no big deal, but in my heart of hearts, I knew all those reasons had to be dealt with in order for the pure love of Christ to flow through me. I keep expressing it in words to myself and others who I feel such great warmth and affection for because that is what I want to do the most in my life - to love freely and without conditions under the most direst of conditions and in the most loveless of interactions. I will know then - YES!! this is it!!! I'm not there yet! I KNOW theoretically I AM LOVE, but you know that's a whole lot different from actually living LOVE.

How do I know I'm actually afraid of love? I know because .... unexplainable!!!

I have read these words so many many times and yet each time I read it again, it feels like it is for the first time. There is nothing more delightful I would love to do right now than extolling the virtues of love, but I won't because I realise my ideas of it are still attached to the world. The love I feel a lot of the times is fraught with expectations and conditions and loving anyone or anything for those reasons are really depriving myself of the REAL thing. Instead, I will remember those rare and precious times when I actually showed up in Life doing something for someone whom I knew can never repay me back, but the deep peace and joy I felt all the same was beyond precious and irreplaceable.

In Love's Name, Blessed Be! Love is an inside job radiating outwards.

May you experience it this moment eternally!

Accepting My "Stuff" In Its Entirety.

LENT 2014 / DAY19

This morning I woke up with a lot of 'stuff' in my head. Lot of uncleared stuff. Stuff that still bothers me so much that I do not know how to be free of them. So as I sat down in my morning meditation, I allowed for everything to flow through - well, actually I was TRYING to allow for everything to flow through because certain 'stuff' was keeping me stuck on the monkey's stationary cycle - cycling and cycling and cycling away and going nowhere ... just peddling furiously on the stationary karmic bike!!

And then I remembered yesterday's wonderful "Release Meditation". I read my copy of it again and again. The repetition helped to ease out the restlessness in not being able to clear my 'stuff'. I continued to read :

I RECOGNIZE I AM HOLDING ONTO PAIN ABOUT ..........................

I RECOGNIZE THE TIME HAS COME TO RELEASE AND HEAL THIS PAIN. I ASK TO BE GUIDED TO THOUGHTS, PEOPLE, HABITS AND EVENTS WHICH WILL SUPPORT THIS RELEASE AND MY HEALING.

I ASK FOR THE STRENGTH TO FORGIVE THE PAST AND HOLD ONTO A VISION OF LIFE BLESSED WITH JOY AND PEACE.

There you go! the word "STRENGTH" gave me a shot in the arm. That's what I needed: STRENGTH!!! I was trying to be my own fixer. I was trying to fix this myself. No wonder!

I fell silent again. Then suddenly I felt guided to open randomly (after asking for the most appropriate guidance) my copy of "The Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ". I opened up at the following:

"Behold, for every one to whom I speak has in him all the fires of God; but they are lying dead. The will is bridled by the flesh desires, and it brings not the ethers of the fires to vibrate into the light. Look, therefore, to your soul and note, Is not the light within you dark as night? There is no breath but Holy Breath that e'er can fan your fires of life into a living flame and make them light. And Holy Breath can raise the ethers of the fires to light in none but hearts of purity and love. Hear, then you men of Galilee, Make pure the heart, admit the Holy Breath, and then your bodies will be full of Light, and like a city on a hill, your light will shine afar, and thus your light may light the way for other men." ~ Chapter 107:30-36

Wow! Now for assimilation, understanding and integration. Every moment, if I am not guarded with what kind of energy and thoughts I am allowing into my mind, my reality will keep changing. It is difficult to stay focussed on The One True Reality - Spirit always. The happenings of the world pull us into its web constantly and sometimes it can become so intense, in a moment of lapse, we loose our light from our sight. We don't loose our Light actually - we loose SIGHT of our Light. And then there's a temporary eclipse of the soul.

I sat in surrendered silence, focussed on my breathing.

After a long while, I suddenly began to feel at ease. I felt at ease because I completely surrendered my 'stuff' to Spirit. I accepted that I'm totally incapable of handling my own 'stuff'. I accepted that I forget this every single day. I accepted that I need to not memorize this as a ritual, but to just sit in the cave of my heart and be in Its Presence within me and I will RE-MEMBER that I Am a Member of God's Holy Family and since I Am a 'member', I don't need to hang on to my 'stuff'.

Let it all go.

Leave it be.

Just be in TOTAL SURRENDER AND ACCEPTANCE.

ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPTANCE.

Just be in complete SURRENDERED ACCEPTANCE 

of letting Life play Itself out in the Holy Life & Breath of Spirit.

Don't wish for a better outcome.

Don't wish for happy moments.

Don't wish for loving moments.

Don't wish for forgiveness moments.

Don't wish that "I wish I had never gotten myself into this crap" moment.

JUST ACCEPT EVERYTHING 

EXACTLY AS IT IS.

ALL OF IT.

 EVERY SINGLE ANNOYING, IRRITATING, FRUSTRATING

 MOMENT OF IT.

After all, was this not my choice in my thoughts and beliefs?

Blessed Be.

Terry Lauezzari, Your Light continues to Shine!

I have been in deep shock at the news of my English brother, Terry Lauezzari's passing on.  But death is only a temporary sleep.  He is with Spirit in his truest and most perfect nature.  “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” ~ Rumi ~

He became one of my dearest friends on Facebook.  He was fun, caring, loving, protective.  Who said that Facebook is just an internet thing?  What Facebook lacks in physical meeting, it more than makes up for in soul connection and communication.  That was who Terry came to mean to me - A SOUL FRIEND AND BROTHER.  What made it a double bonus was the fact that he was the husband of my beloved Soul Sister, Friend and Heart Family, Aimee Lauezzari.  It was indeed through Aimee that I got this wonderful opportunity to meet with Terry on FB.

I am ever grateful for the way Terry affected my life.  I have become better for it.

Terry was my "Smile Monitor"!  He made sure I posted only 'smiley' profile pics on Facebook and chided me in a good naturedly way if I did'nt.  He felt the world needed more smiles.  He called me "Smiley".  Since then I have always posted only 'smiley' photos because I got the feel of the world through his eyes.  Yes, the world did'nt need models with pouty, plastic smiles, but genuine, down to earth soul smiles. :))))  I believe he felt he needed to protect all the people who were close to him and keep reminding them of their light.   He did'nt hesitate to tick me off if any post or comment reflected a less than 'classy' style.  We would argue via our exchange of comments! :))))  I would smile because that's what brothers do - they believe it is their duty and honor to protect their sisters. :)))) But I would be defiant and argue back my case.  He did'nt buy it. But he let it go for the time being only! ;)  He always wanted that I should continue to remain as good as he believes I am.  That's what it was - his belief in people!!  He was very perceptive.  I am quite sure he made everyone feel that way - special! :))))

One day last year in May I got a note from him in the inbox at a particularly vulnerable time.  Ofcourse he did'nt know that, but like an Earth Angel, out of the blue this beautiful note came from him and it reassured me even more that Spirit is always watching us and sending Its Angels to remind us of our own beauty and True Identity.  He wrote ....

"Dearest lavina, you have the most wonderful welcoming and heartwarming smile

The love and comfort you give to people is to be admired, and is not seen as preaching, but just the lovely you, being yourself.  You are such a kind carrying person, and I hope this message of TRUTH makes you feel as good as you make others feel, is all in your smile x"

I was so stunned.  How did he know I needed this encouragement today?  He lives in another country altogether!  I wrote back expressing my deepest appreciation ......

"OMG! Thank you Terry!!! I needed this right this moment, right just now!!!  I am about to start writing a note on how all the old stories we have been fed through out our lives has made us believe so many things and the truth is we have got it all wrong.  Today is also a very stressful day because as you must already know, we are going through some really deep mind transformation with our 40 day course and today, a lot of stuff just blew up in my face.  Sometime today I will post the note and you will see what I mean.  I was sitting here feeling a bit miserable and there you are with this beautiful note.  Thank you bro Terry with all my heart.  You just made me smile once again like you do occasionally!!  This will help me to judge myself less now as I write my note.  Thank you.  Love and God Bless.  I hope you're having a wonderful day.  Let Aimee pamper you.  We all deserve and need to be loved fully and totally and allow ourselves to be loved unconditionally.  Much love.'

And he responded ......

"Thank you. .

DONT EVER DOUBT YOURSELF, DO YOU HEAR ME,  your one of the best xx"

And I concluded ....

"Yes, I will REMEMBER that - thank YOU! Ask Aimee to give you a big hug from me!!"

And I have since then always tried to remember that.  I never met him physically.  I don't need to.  We are all already connected at the heart, soul and energetic level.  Why some people affect our lives in such a positive way and why others do not is all a matter of the depth of soul connections.  I am beyond grateful that this Angel showed up in my life - in India!  Now I can speak to him in the realm of the Angels.

As Rumi says ....

“Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing
there is a field.
I'll meet you there.    

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.” 

Shine brightly Terry because we can feel your Light and your Love.  The world needs it ever more.  

 Blessed Be.

Empty Myself

LENT 2014 / DAY 13

"Mooji, I want to do God's will. 

How can I serve God and do His will?

First, you must empty yourself of your own will 

and then God can enter and flow through you 

as your own natural existence.

Know this: 

the one who is empty of the sense of 

personal will finds God everywhere."

~ Mooji ~

This is a typical conversation I believe most souls who have been touched by new spiritual learning, have had with their mentors at the time, who are taking them through new understanding of God and the soul. Its a conversation I have had umpteen times and each time I have been encouraged to go ahead and help others in order to help myself. Infact I have always been told that, that is the best way! Well, I have discovered that it does'nt work at all in the best way for me. Not at all. Because back of all the good intentions lie many personal ego based wills that muddy the good intentions. Add to that, I have learned that the energies of the teacher flows right into his/her students. Most teachers are not fully healed themselves. I did'nt know that then, but I do now. What they teach is purely from their own personal experiences. And that is wonderful if I can stick with the Truth of the learning,and not the personality. But what happens most times, is that we begin to want to emulate the teacher and do all the things that person does or is doing.  I have discovered by doing that in the past so many zillion times, I have actually LOST myself in the bargain because I am so busy trying to repeat someone else's experiences. It has taken me many many lessons to finally understand this and this Lent, this is being sufficiently highlighted for me. I am unique. I am precious.  And there's a blue print just for ME!!  Yes, I can take all the help I can from others who have walked before me, but only to use them as pointers to walk deeper into myself and open up for my own experiences that God is simply waiting to burst through from me and through me.

And so, as all the effects of my past choices are magnifying themselves amazingly and showing me the importance of living from my own heart, not someone else's, and from living a life of absolute courage, fearlessness and an abundant heart,  I am able to see this clearly now the motivations behind all those thoughts and choices I made over the years which took me away from my Self.  Today's message from Mooji is just perfect because it brings a big spot light on emptying myself totally and completely. Something I should have done diligently over the years, but did'nt.  All great saints, sages, masters, teachers, avatars keep themselves perfectly still and empty.

     Lao Tzu says:

Empty yourself of everything.

Let the mind become still.

Blessed Be.

I Am Asking and I Am Receiving ... Endlessly ....

LENT 2014 / DAY 9

During the last few days the ONE Pure Truth has been emerging and demonstrating Itself for me with crystal clarity as if It has set up a private stage showing just for me.  And I am the only audience, the participator, the actor, the all in all.  How do I know?  Because I am seeing myself through the screening of something that is beyond me.  I AM PRESENT in every playout!!  I Am ALL of it as well.  What a revelation!

A few years ago when I started reading "The Jeshua Letters" by Jayem I was immediately drawn to this guidance shared by Jeshua.  It made for me a perfect prayer. What could be a more direct prayer than this?

"Ask, therefore, 

not for salvation,

because your ideas of it 

are distorted.

Ask, instead, 

that you AWAKEN from every last trace of belief 

that you have ever been separate from God.

This will focus the impetus of your soul

with right intention. 

Since you receive what you ask for, 

clarity of thought is essential

(Jeshua Letters)

It matters not how the lessons come for learning.  What matters only is that the Essence of it is understood clearly.  Everything is about clarity.  To be crystal clear is to be transparent.  To leave behind the stories, the drama, the unbeliefs, religion, people, a.k.a. the world, requires a deep sense of one's Self - the Self that Jeshua portrayed to perfection during his sojourn starting from his 40 days at the desert till the Resurrection.  Not so much the 3 days suffering leading to his death, but the glory that He BECAME at the end of it.

I have a tree in front of my home.  I call her Mystic.  When I am sitting on my swing in the front porch, her trunk is hidden from my view because of the boundary wall in front of our home.  All I get is a vision of her beautiful green leaves shinning and glittering in the sparkling sun and the sky as the big backdrop falling like a curtain in the background!!  What an incredible sight!  But when I come out of my gate, I see her trunk to be not too big or strong, like, say, the old oak tree.  Mystic's trunk is quite unattractive actually and she has a whole lot of cable wires wrapped around her and what not!  But despite all of that unattractiveness on the surface, below at the ground level, her face is looking up to the sun and with her wide array of leaves she is simply majestic!!!  Mystic's tree trunk reminds me of our human bodies and our human limitation on the surface, but my! oh! my! just let Spirit be the focus instead, and there is only glory to glory.

There is a Mystic Law, a Mystic Essence that runs through everything in Life.  That Mystic Essence is All That Is.  Its the sap, the honey, the life-giving Holy Breath that nurtures and sustains and runs through all sentient and insentient Beings.  Its unexplainable and not comprehended by the human mind, because in truth there is NO human mind - there is only the ONE Divine Mind.  This is what the demonstration of Jesus's Life means to me.  The Holy Essence within Him is also in me.  The human has to get this truly and deeply.  And then the dream is shattered.  You cannot be the same after that.  Enlightenment and Awareness is not experienced the same way by everyone.  Some see visions, some hear their inner voice more clearly, some just 'know'  intuitively, etc. etc. I understand now I knew this always intuitively but was denying its existence simply because I wanted to be accepted and loved by the human condition that represents the world. The ego is not so interested in all this 'holy' stuff.  It wants other 'finer' aspects of the world.  It will befriend those who are more inclined to those things. And as I see it, the world of my illusions can never love me because it does not exist.  Is that not why we suffer?  We are expecting something that is non-existent to replace God?  To become aware is to be truly understand that everything is perfect in its place be it the so-called suffering, disease, death or happiness, joy, abundance.  These are all just words.  At the final analysis words mean nothing. Only the Perfect and True Blissful Silence.

Spirit communicates through Perfect Silence.  Here's a beautiful demonstration of this fact. Everything in Life is a demonstration of Spirit.  Notice Nature and Creation and you will get the sense of this quiet communication.

Blessed Be.

Timelessness Within The Realm of Time

LENT 2014 DAY 5

Two questions emerged: My "fear of God" and "Timelessness".

Starting with my fear of God. This fact surfaced and bubbled up for questioning which was related to many habits formed in my life the most important of all being that I am undeserving of God.  Unconsciously this thought has dominated my whole existence depriving me of partaking in the full abundance of God's Table.  There was always a part of me that felt I was undeserving and in doing so have hurt my soul beyond measure.  I applaud everyone else's experience, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I think, I realised, that everyone has a right except me.  And so early this morning as I was releasing every bit of the fear I held for God and kept repeating the mantra, somewhere it suddenly changed from "I release the fear of God" to "I Am a Flower of God" and I did'nt even realise that change had happened so spontaneously. How marvelous indeed are the Divine Ways constantly working and living and moving and breathing within us.

My days are becoming more and more Grace filled.  The only teacher I am open to and learning from in these 40 days is from my Inner Master, Teacher and Guru - Jeshua a.k.a. Jesus. Jesus is not some magical being outside of me.  No! that is not so.  Jesus, the angels and all the holy beings are springing from my own consciousness, all reflections of The Divine shining through me as me.

It is incredibly satisfying to experience an ongoing inner dialogue and holy conversation with The Mystical Power within.  I am more and more convinced that everything in this life is reflective. My thoughts are constantly reflecting my changing reality. I always reconfirm this when choosing from decks of oracle cards.  What comes out as an answer to a question I hold is really and truly the reflection of my mind in that instant.  When I choose a card that has an  ominous message,it is because my mind was flooded with doubts and fear. There is no little or a lot of fear. There are no shades and grades of fear.  Either I am in Love or I am in fear.  Simple as that.  When I become aware of present thought reality showing up in the card I hold, I immediately center in, change my mind and choose again - and lo! and behold! an amazing message shows up!!  Its this dream self that is constantly choosing from this dream world, this holographic world. And "someone" is observing these choices - who is that "someone"?  Inquire. 

Last week, our clock stopped. We were two hours behind time, but

neither my husband nor I realised that. We actually thought we had a lot of time despite us doing so much, that we decided to do something we had not done in a long long time - sit by the plants, have tea and biscuits and talk about the philosophy of life which we used to do a lot in the past as our morning ritual.  We truly enjoyed that. Unfortunately, we got disrupted in our peace after that glorious leisure time when my husband realised the clock had stopped and infact he was now 'officially running late'!! Seriously?? When we understood what just happened we just burst out laughing at the wonderful lesson we were being taught about Timelessness and how only we can maintain that or allow ourselves to be disrupted by time. What a beautiful lesson on Timelessness for the day! That was last week but today I was reminded again by Jiddu Krishnamurthy.

Jiddu Krishnamurthy message in today's mail brought my attention back to timelessness today:

So the question is then: can what is be transformed immediately? Which means never allowing time to interfere. Are we coming together? Listen to this, you will find out, it is really simple. If we apply our mind we can solve anything, as has been done, they have been to the moon, built marvellous submarines, incredible things they have done. Here, psychologically we are so reluctant, so incapable, or have made ourselves incapable. So if you do not allow time, or never think in terms of time, then the fact is not - right? I wonder if you see this? Because we allow time the fact becomes important. If there is no time it is resolved. Suppose I died this second, there is no problem. You understand what I am saying? When I allow time I am afraid of death. I wonder if you understand all this? But if I live without time, which is an extraordinary thing if you go into it, psychologically, never. Time means accumulation - right? Time means remembrance, time means accumulating knowledge about oneself, all that involves time. But when there is no time at all, psychologically, there is nothing - you follow? You are capturing something? Are you understanding something? Please come on. - Krishnamurti, Brockwood Park 4th Public Talk 7th September 1980

Blessed Be.

The Seven Essene Mirrors to Relationships

LENT 2014 / DAY 4

I have spent the last two days just immersed in the lessons of The Seven Essene Mirrors and they are incredible. Don't be fooled by the short description of each mirror because there is so much depth to each of them. The lessons on releasing judgement and  focusing  on forgiveness go hand in hand and every aspect of our spiritual, emotional and physical life are completely covered overall.  Gregg Braden has done an excellent job teaching them.  

I finally get it now.  There's NO place for judgment in any form, subtle or otherwise either of myself or anyone else at all.  Not even comments.  No justifications about our judgments either.  And most of all what I finally get is what Jesus really means when He asks us to leave the world and come to Him. It simply means leave the world of judgment for good and permanently!  Judgment brings strife.  Dropping it brings absolute peace.  I wonder why we human beings cherish judgment so much?!

Sacred Relationships

Techniques you can use now

We live in an Action Reaction World known as the Plane of Demonstration where Consciousness Creates Reality. We manifest and magnetize people and events into our lives according to our consciousness. The Seven Essene mirrors is a way of understanding how this process works. We can use what seem to be negative experiences as stepping stones to healing and empowerment. “When life rolls boulders, build stairs.”

FIRST MIRROR reflects to us that which we are. It is something we ourselves are doing or where we ourselves have been in error or wounded.

SECOND MIRROR reflects to us that which we judge. It is something we have an emotional charge with, something we have either been wounded by in the past and have not forgiven. It is good to discern; however if we judge and condemn with an emotional charge, we will attract exactly what we judge into our lives.

THIRD MIRROR reflects back to us something we Lost, Gave Away, or had Taken Away. When we see something we love and desire in another, it is often something we have lost, given away or had stolen in our own lives. Every relationship is a relationship with self and often we try to reclaim what was lost, we gave away, or had taken away as a child. It could be joy, innocence, honesty and integrity, courage or love. All of which can be reclaimed within self.

FOURTH MIRROR reflects back to us our most forgotten love. This could be a way of life, a lost or unfinished relationship. Often it is a past life where a wrong conclusion from past experience was created. These will recreate themselves over and over until the right conclusion is registered in the soul as wisdom.

FIFTH MIRROR reflects back to us Father/Mother. It is often said we marry our father or mother. We also often become them acting out the same healthy and unhealthy patterns we learned as a child. Our fathers and mothers to us as children are Gods. It will often reflect the same relationship we have with others and the Father/Mother God principle.

SIXTH MIRROR reflects back to us the Quest for Darkness or what is often referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. This is when we meet our greatest challenges, our greatest fears and have been gathering the tools and understandings in life to confront them. God never gives one any more than they can handle and we have a choice in every experience to greet it as a powerful manifesting God/Goddess or a victim.

SEVENTH MIRROR reflects back to us our self perception. Others will perceive and treat us according to how we perceive and treat ourselves. If we have a low self-esteem and do not acknowledge our wisdom and beauty, others will not acknowledge them. If we are angry, bitter and unloving to others, they in turn will often react in the same way towards us. If we change our perception of ourselves, we change the world. Maybe it is time to be kind, loving and compassionate to ourselves and others. Remember the saying, “The only reason anyone has power over you is you want something from them?” Maybe that something whether it be love, joy, or a personal God connection can all be found from within?

Secrets to Sacred Relationships

“Always keep your heart in heaven."

“Love and allow!”

Unlike most relationships with attachment, unfulfilled desires, expectations, codependency's and confusion, Sacred Relationship transcends these challenges and it is where everyone is heading. Many know the old relationships and ways of interacting with each other are coming to a close yet have no idea what the new way or relationship is thus they are often left floundering in pain, suffering and confusion.

We can have love, compassion and even passion without attachment. We can have anger without hate, discernment without judgment and condemnation and expression without suppression. When we do not express due to fear of loosing the love, acceptance, approval of another and suppress in denial, we create an energy block which can eventually end up in disease or when the dam breaks a burst of anger and resentment issues forth upon whomever is in the path. Expression without suppression, denial and insecurity also helps others to evolve by giving them the information they need to go forward.

If we truly desire a sacred relationship we must first take full responsibility for our own attitudes, emotions and actions. It is no longer appropriate to project, blame or make another responsible for our lives, the love, joy, happiness and even the abundance we are experiencing. There is a saying, ”The only reason anyone has any power over you is because you want something from them.”

Whether it be love, joy, acceptance, approval or even security, these are all attributes to be and not seek through others or outer experiences. Be love, joy and happiness. Accept and approve of yourself. Be secure within yourself and manifest your own abundance. Become sovereign and establish a sacred relationship with self. Love yourself enough not to participate in all the other dramas, especially those which another has not chosen to heal and go forward. Take the time necessary to heal yourself of any wounds, traumas and wrong conclusions from past experiences.

We live in an Action/Reaction world known as the plane of demonstration where consciousness creates reality. We magnetize people and events to us according to our consciousness. Is it not wise to first heal ourselves, love, accept and approve of ourselves and then magnetize people and events to us which are a reflection of our own self-love, self-acceptance, self-approval, as well as our own happiness and security?

The ultimate sacred relationship is to become one with the loving, joyous, wise and powerful manifesting God within and allow that love to flow through you unconditionally and unattached to others and all life. This is where we are all headed eventually.

For more information on how to heal the wounds traumas and wrong conclusions from past experiences which includes past lives as well, read these two articles here and here , or read about sacred relationships and the process in Becoming Gods 1 & 2.

Copyright James Gilliland 2006 – 2008. All rights reserved.

Lent 2014 ~ Day 3

So today is Day 3 of my  commitment to focus on radical transformation.

There is nothing more radical than changing the perceptions of my mind.  Every year I decide to do something 'radical' and I am quite sure at some level it works.  Its not so much the effort in doing as it is in setting the intention to be opened to change.  I'm not a very disciplined person, but what the heck! I have embraced that about myself even if it appears to be a 'flaw'.  I like my flaws now.  They are good markers indicating where I Am in my inner travels and travails.

This year I have decided to really drop the "comfort zone" and go into the areas where I have just been sitting at the edge till date. Whenever I am stuck and don't know what to do next, I like to think of our Indian Rishis and Sages.  They knew it all from their profound wisdom through their one pointed focus on Spirit. They just moved to places that nurtured their spirits.  People came to them.  They were least interested in the world.  I know the baubles of the world can be so mesmerizing, the stories so compelling, and the drama so exciting, but what is it all really?  All this is surrounded by pain. Even relationships are painful.  I am tired of being the one to always, always make the first move on everything, to initiate the next step or to even initiate a conversation. I am tired of being raised to a higher standard just to suit someone else's low image of themselves. I am fatigued, tired, bored and fed up.  I have been travelling this inner path for quite some time now and I find myself constantly stuck and going back to the same things over and over again.  I am so fed up now, I just want to make a 360 degree change! As I drop more and more, the mind just seems to keep bringing up more and more.  Most times I feel the rest of the world is far more awakened than I even though I see otherwise - NOW WHY ON GOD'S EARTH WOULD I FEEL THAT WAY?  Am I being too hard on myself and raising my own standards and then feeling frustrated that I can't catch up with my own image??  That must be it! No, I am sure it is - well, atleast it's one of the 'problem' areas.  I'm saying "problem" for now because I am still going into more and more, deeper and deeper, radical acceptance of myself.

The mind is a foxy trickster! If handled with wisdom and understanding, it can bring you to the heights of spiritual bliss.  Ofcourse it could very easily do the opposite as well.

I love this message I received for today. Once again my hope and faith in myself is revived.  See, I love words! They are empowering!

« A child coming into the world is a soul limiting itself, and it suffers at having to come into a body where it feels so confined. Even if this limitation is necessary to allow for manifestation on the physical plane, human beings must never forget that their soul’s home is infinite space. Shut up in a body, it longs for that immensity where it expands and rejoices. This is why, even if humans dread death, because they experience it – naturally of course – as a wrench, their soul welcomes it as a liberation.

Life is made up of these two movements, limitation and expansion, which each person must learn how to balance. Even when you are called upon from all sides, if you do not want your soul to end up suffocating and becoming weaker, do not allow material tasks and worries to take up all your time and energy. From time to time, for a few moments at least, stop, go within, and open yourself up to immensity… then go back to what you were doing.  »

~ Omraam Mikhael Aivanhov ~

And then, there is one of my favorite authors and spiritual teachers, Oriah who made a personal observation about herself to which I can relate.

"So, as I woke up this morning filled with memories about Marie Claire I wondered: Where am I feeling caught in the past? Where am I missing the opportunity to lay down a burden and walk on with more freedom? Where am I refusing healing, afraid to be free, not allowing myself to receive fully what is offered to me now?  

And I offer a prayer for my old friend, grateful for what is stirred by remembering her, wishing her spirit deep peace and freedom."

How spot on! Is she asking me these questions?? http://myfavouriteexcerpts.blogspot.in/2014/03/moving-on.html

And finally a new way of looking at life today! "The Power of Equinox - March 21, 2014 : FINDING BALANCE IN ACCELERATING ENERGY"

http://myfavouriteexcerpts.blogspot.in/2014/03/the-power-of-equinox-march-21-2014.html

Now that is a lot of valuable stuff to ponder on today.  I am blessed and I know it.  Because that is what the God stuff is about.  One continuous, endless, eternal mass of Grace and Blessings all strewn all around me like sparkling diamonds.  Aum.

End of Rambling.  Blessed Be.

Lent 2014 ~ Radical Transformation

The Christian 40 days of prayer and 'fasting' started yesterday. Over the years, each year presented different questions for me to explore. This year the word 'RADICAL' keeps coming to mind. And the first commandment "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" is rolling over and over in my mind.

Time for the most deepest and radical questions:

What does "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me" really mean? What does it mean to ME - not anyone else, not what my school catechism taught me, not what my childhood taught me, not what my parents, teachers, friends, aunties, uncles, cousins, neighbours, etc. taught me, or the world, or anyone .... simply what does it MEAN TO ME???

First off, to me personally it means EVERYTHING is GOD.

Secondly, how does this understanding translate to my daily living?

I have a full 40 days to deeply contemplate this question. I have a feeling I will have very few 'human' friends left after that. I am willing to take that chance. As Jesus says, you can't ride two donkeys at the same time. Its either God or the world.  The reason I say I wont have any 'human' friends left is simply because the more radical you get, the more crazy you sound to people, and the more 'people' find you boring and a joke!! Well, that is the deal after all.  Its a done deal. 

I'm going for the Gold. I'm going for God.