Sunday, 23 February 2014

Life Inventory

I have been wondering for some time now what "activities" I should be doing to keep me sufficiently busy and yet stay conscious of the direction my life is going.  Last night my usual night reading showed me the way.

From the book The Jeshua Letters: A Remarkable Encounter With Jesus by Jayem, I came upon this question asked by the author, Jayem:

"But how do I know what is really the voice of Spirit, and not just more subtle ego stuff?"

And Jeshua's response is:
"When you release all thought of what
your good is,
when you release all thought
that God is not to be trusted -
for what is resistance to Spirit but this belief?
and especially when you desire only to be empty,
then will you hear
the Voice of The Holy One."

Wow!! There's no Voice when there's no emptiness.  And there's no emptiness when desires are still present. 

The communication gets better, deeper and out of this world, but I will stop here and ponder on these lines and begin to do a life inventory.  I need to stop and take a deep breath and ask myself many questions, the key ones being:

* Do I know who I Am as a personal experience?
* Where am I in my inner life?
* How EMPTY am I?
* Have I added stuff into my life?
* Am I still living and thinking from my body?
* Am I afraid to take another step without the world?
* Do I still see myself as a part of the dream?

These are questions from the top of my head but are guidelines for me.  The word that strikes me the most from this piece of guidance is "EMPTY".  I think its a very subtle point that seems to be lost in translation in the world. Mostly, I hear interpretations that don't fully nurture this idea to its completion.

And so, my  life inventory begins but before that I have this lovely piece that adds to my list of questions from one of my all time favourites, Nisargadatta Maharaj:

Maharaj: Truth is simple and open to all. Why do you complicate? Truth is loving and lovable. It includes all, accepts all, purifies all. It is untruth that is difficult and a source of trouble. It always wants, expects, demands. Being false, it is empty, always in search of confirmation and reassurance. It is afraid of and avoids enquiry. It identifies itself with any support, however weak and momentary. Whatever it gets, it loses and asks for more. Therefore put no faith in the conscious. Nothing you can see, feel, or think is so. Even sin and virtue, merit and demerit are not what they appear. Usually the bad and the good are a matter of convention and custom and are shunned or welcomed, according to how the words are used.

Q: Are there not good desires and bad, high desires and low?

M: All desires are bad, but some are worse than others. Pursue any desire, it will always give you trouble.

Q: Even the desire to be free of desire?

M: Why desire at all? Desiring a state of freedom from desire will not set you free. Nothing can set you free, because you are free. See yourself with desireless clarity, that is all.

Q: It takes time to know oneself.

M: How can time help you? Time is a succession of moments; each moment appears out of nothing and disappears into nothing, never to reappear. How can you build on something so fleeting?

Q: What is permanent?

M: Look to yourself for the permanent. Dive deep within and find what is real in you.

Q: How to look for myself?

M: Whatever happens, it happens to you. What you do, the doer is in you. Find the subject of all that you are as a person.

Q: What else can I be?

M: Find out. Even if I tell you that you are the witness, the silent watcher, it will mean nothing to you, unless you find the way to your own being.

Q: My question is: How to find the way to one's own being?

M: Give up all questions except one: 'Who am l'? After all, the only fact you are sure of is that you are. The 'I am' is certain. The 'I am this' is not. Struggle to find out what you are in reality.


(Nisargadatta Maharaj / I Am That - Chapter 10:  Focusing)








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