Who Would I Be Without This Thought?

Who would I be without any of the thoughts going on in my head this moment?

I pondered.

NOTHING

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

This morning I stumbled upon one of Byron Katie's videos and listening to her always infuses me with a deeper desire to know about my thoughts right now.  That's what true teachers do - they take you within.  And so as I thought about a present situation that I would like to understand, I asked the question "who would I be without these thoughts about this person?"  And as I delved into the very question, I found myself falling into an abyss.  I could see how this one thought came from so many previous thoughts and beliefs.  I went as far back as I could and discovered what started out as a seed thought took on a life of its own and grew into a big sturdy tree.  

I could see how many trees I planted. Every tree appeared different according to the thoughts I nurtured into belief.  The 'lovely' looking trees came from perceived 'happy' beliefs and the distorted ones came from another kind of belief that did'nt inspire joy.  The sturdier the tree, the stronger the thoughts about that 'tree'. I thought what a forest I have created!! I thought if I walked around and uprooted every "thought-tree" what would there be? Nothing but space.  It was in this space that my reality was being created with every thought I took seriously (or not).  When I closed my eyes and asked the question again, I saw nothing.  When I opened my eyes, I did'nt even need to ask the question - the questions became the answers in my reality alone.  With further inquiry I found that it was much easier to go back to the source through self inquiry and cease the story about that tree in my consciousness. Not that trees were good or bad, but its my dream world and how long do I want to keep dreaming? Its just space. I didnt need to do anything.  I just needed to be willing to experience and 'see' Reality.  I just needed to stop believing the thought that created that tree and so many other trees. Instead, I could just look at the sky and let the clouds pass without grasping ... without the need to reach up and own them.  They belonged to no one.  They're just passing by.  I could have, be and do everything by just observing them and letting them pass, like watching a scenery pass me by as I travel in a train. If I try to jump out of the train to grasp a passing scenery, I don't need to be a rocket scientist to know what would happen to me.  I have no need to own anything because everything is already mine to behold and admire and bliss out on.  Seems a better deal!

As I I opened my eyes and squinted in the sun on my porch, I am as sure as I am typing this blog, I saw my off-white half breed Spits pet dog, Sparkie, turn into a cat - everything was more or less the same except that he shrunk down to the size of a cat with a cat face!

I shook my head  and smiled.  A cat indeed!!  Whose thought is that?