Lucky for me I recognize that I am just a student of Life. So, gratefully, there's no pressure to be 'right' and 'wise' and 'popular'. I have the freedom within me to explore my own truth and pay attention to what my life experiences are teaching me constantly.
I have evolved from that little kid who thought of God as a punishing, vengeful deity to a woman who sees Spirit as The One who is all benevolent, loving, kind and can be known through personal experience. I see Life as an embodiment of God. Ofcourse, I forget this often, but it does'nt take me long to come back on track. We are such voyagers and have experienced a million voyages in all our lifetimes, but now I recognize and understand it was simply to keep myself SEPARATE from God. Wow! really? How did I dare do that? :))
My personal biggest hurdles and obstacles were trust and abandonment. These two issues have the tendency to dominate my life if and when I allow it. I have had all kinds of problems in these areas and experiences which go right back to childhood. I cannot say I am totally over it because I don't think they will just disappear. I see them as tools in my life that I was born to use in my awakening of who I Am. They serve as a reminder of what a warrior I have become.
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The teachers who inspire me deeply are Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ramana Maharishi, Jiddu Krishnamurthy, Lillian DeWaters, Joel Goldsmith, Mooji and now Tara Singh, teacher of "A Course In Miracles". Reading is a big thing with me. I write only for cathartic reasons. I am not a skilled writer nor a professional one and I feel at ease when doing this activity. Its a meditative experience in and by itself.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
I encountered "A Course In Miracles" quite by chance some eight years ago. I didnt fancy it so much because I found it too drab and boring. I could'nt understand the language properly and most of all it had all the Christian elements to it which I preferred to stay far away from because of my experience of growing up with so much belief in punishment and guilt and sin, etc. which didnt make sense to me at all. But I kept coming back to it over and over again, not because of the Course, but because of The Voice behind the Course. My search for a teacher who could give a non-Christian view to The Course drew a blank. So ACIM was kept aside for leisure reading only ...... that is, until a few days ago when one of my Google+ friends mentioned Tara Singh as being his teacher and how profoundly he affected him. What?? Tara Singh? An Indian?? This was really good news and answer to my request to Jeshua to send me someone who would be absolutely right for me.
I must say without prejudice that there is a big difference between Indian spiritual teachers and those of the west. The western ones like Mooji, Adyashanti, and a few others who have been influenced by Indian / Eastern teachers have a very distinctive way about how they teach and their whole approach comes from a very deep place of knowing, experience and sacred intimacy with Spirit. Such teachers teach with beautiful and slow pauses. You have to be totally present with them as they take you into yourself. The spaces they provide between sentences enables you fall gently into your own cradle of mystical love you didn't even know existed. Its like standing on holy ground.
I have nothing but gratitude for this incredible gift in my life at this time. My friend, Sean Reagan who is a disciple of Tara Singh's teachings, seems to me to be such a simple, genuine, down-to-earth and intense Soul. Listening to what he shares via Youtube gives me a good insight into how much he values The Course and equally his teacher, Tara Singh.
I now feel very committed to giving my full attention to A Course In Miracles. I want to do this because I feel it is what I need to do now at this point in time. Aum.
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