The Storm

Yesterday, afternoon became black as night in New Delhi, India.  What started out as a dust storm ended up in utter destruction leaving us with no power supply for many, many hours long after the freak storm. When big rain drops started falling almost settling the dust, I found myself walking out and witnessing the weather change from a stifling hot day with the sun shining as brightly as ever to night almost by magic. Day just turned to night! I saw the lightening flashes and the trees swaying dangerously and stuff flying around from roof tops. I was so fascinated by it all never once thinking of the aftermath of such a storm. I just decided to 'BE' and witness my own feelings. Perhaps I felt this desire more strongly since I am becoming more and more at home in my 'elemental body' and the connection it has to all of the Earth plane.  The elements are represented in our chakras and though we live in a dream world, everything appears so real and misleading. I noticed how calm I became while the hailstones started pelting down (luckily I was'nt hurt by even one). I began to notice the shadowy outlines of the many trees in my colony and felt like I was in a story book. Everything seemed so surreal. The phrase "eye of the  storm" came to mind because that is exactly how this experience appeared. I got a metaphorical and pictorial view of what it is really like when we find ourselves in the middle of  life transforming and life changing situations and circumstances.  It's literally like the dark night of the soul. All you can do is be an observer and stay centered till the 'storm' passes.

And then you open your mind and see it all beginning to clear up. You're okay with it because something cleansing has taken place. Everything feels washed and new somewhere in your consciousness.

By the end of the day, just before midnight, a very old karmic issue resurfaced. I knew exactly how I was going to deal with it and put it to rest completely. Nature taught me generously today and I was deeply grateful for this experience.

There is always a rainbow after a storm as Light breaks into the dark clouds of change and transformation.

Aum

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/massive-storm-rain-hits-delhi-ncr/1/364513.html

Truth

“In our student days we sought God, or Truth, as a means to health, peace, security, safety, and harmony. Now we know that these are not to be found outside of Him, and that the experience of God is our only desire. Now we have risen above the desire for health or aught save Him alone. All must rise above the desire for peace, health, joy, and abundance. ‘And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God.’” ~ Joel Goldsmith ~

"To everyone who would practice Understanding there must come the willingness to renounce belief in mental action. He must know that the Truth is not thought, that the Truth is not a result of mind, but that Truth is Divine Intelligence in operation.

It is not sufficient to perceive that sickness is a dream, but one must see also that there is no personal mind believing in sickness.It is not enough to say that sin is forgiven, but one must come to admit that the sin was never sinned.

It is a step up to discern that sorrow and limitation are the results of false thinking and living, but it is a step higher still to discern that there was never a mistake made, that there is no one who believes in mistakes and in sin.Disease and death were never included in the Intelligent activity of the All-Good." ~ Lillian DeWaters ~

  

Who Would I Be Without This Thought?

Who would I be without any of the thoughts going on in my head this moment?

I pondered.

NOTHING

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

This morning I stumbled upon one of Byron Katie's videos and listening to her always infuses me with a deeper desire to know about my thoughts right now.  That's what true teachers do - they take you within.  And so as I thought about a present situation that I would like to understand, I asked the question "who would I be without these thoughts about this person?"  And as I delved into the very question, I found myself falling into an abyss.  I could see how this one thought came from so many previous thoughts and beliefs.  I went as far back as I could and discovered what started out as a seed thought took on a life of its own and grew into a big sturdy tree.  

I could see how many trees I planted. Every tree appeared different according to the thoughts I nurtured into belief.  The 'lovely' looking trees came from perceived 'happy' beliefs and the distorted ones came from another kind of belief that did'nt inspire joy.  The sturdier the tree, the stronger the thoughts about that 'tree'. I thought what a forest I have created!! I thought if I walked around and uprooted every "thought-tree" what would there be? Nothing but space.  It was in this space that my reality was being created with every thought I took seriously (or not).  When I closed my eyes and asked the question again, I saw nothing.  When I opened my eyes, I did'nt even need to ask the question - the questions became the answers in my reality alone.  With further inquiry I found that it was much easier to go back to the source through self inquiry and cease the story about that tree in my consciousness. Not that trees were good or bad, but its my dream world and how long do I want to keep dreaming? Its just space. I didnt need to do anything.  I just needed to be willing to experience and 'see' Reality.  I just needed to stop believing the thought that created that tree and so many other trees. Instead, I could just look at the sky and let the clouds pass without grasping ... without the need to reach up and own them.  They belonged to no one.  They're just passing by.  I could have, be and do everything by just observing them and letting them pass, like watching a scenery pass me by as I travel in a train. If I try to jump out of the train to grasp a passing scenery, I don't need to be a rocket scientist to know what would happen to me.  I have no need to own anything because everything is already mine to behold and admire and bliss out on.  Seems a better deal!

As I I opened my eyes and squinted in the sun on my porch, I am as sure as I am typing this blog, I saw my off-white half breed Spits pet dog, Sparkie, turn into a cat - everything was more or less the same except that he shrunk down to the size of a cat with a cat face!

I shook my head  and smiled.  A cat indeed!!  Whose thought is that?

My Relationship with "A Course In Miracles"

Lucky for me I recognize that I am just a student of Life.  So, gratefully, there's no pressure to be 'right' and 'wise' and 'popular'.  I have the freedom within me to explore my own truth and pay attention to what my life experiences are teaching me constantly. 

I have evolved from that little kid who thought of God as a punishing, vengeful deity to a woman who sees Spirit as The One who is all benevolent, loving, kind and can be known through personal experience.  I see Life as an embodiment of God.  Ofcourse, I forget this often, but it does'nt take me long to come back on track.  We are such voyagers and have experienced a million voyages in all our lifetimes, but now I recognize and understand it was simply to keep myself SEPARATE from God.  Wow! really?  How did I dare do that?  :))

My personal biggest hurdles and obstacles were trust and abandonment.  These two issues have the tendency to dominate my life if and when I allow it.  I have had all kinds of problems in these areas and experiences which go right back to childhood.  I cannot say I am totally over it because I don't think they will just disappear.  I see them as tools in my life that I was born to use in my awakening of who I Am.  They serve as a reminder of what a warrior I have become.

I am very open to all kinds of teachings that help me in my soul growth but I have a preference for Non-Duality / Advaita / Vedanta teachings because ultimately, the final step is self inquiry for a radical awakening.  That is my opinion, ofcourse!  I have lost the need to judge other people's paths and /or condemn them.  I say, if someone has time to criticize another so much, they probably have nothing much of value going on in their own life.  Now, notice the  subtlety  - at some level I am still judging by having this opinion even if I believe I am not hurting anyone!!  That's what I have noticed about Life on the Earth plane.  We are always going to be doing this judgment thing in some form or the other.  And that's why I like the Christ Path - its going beyond the judgments of right and wrong and and 'seeing' things for what they really are by being non attached and just saying a resounding YES! to all experiences and staying committed till every last false belief is cast away.  I certainly do not believe in the "kick-ass" or "fight against ...." anything kind of attitude!  It's too blasé now.

The teachers who inspire me deeply are Nisargadatta Maharaj, Ramana Maharishi, Jiddu Krishnamurthy, Lillian DeWaters, Joel Goldsmith, Mooji and now Tara Singh, teacher of "A Course In Miracles".  Reading is a big thing with me.  I write only for cathartic reasons.  I am not a skilled writer nor a professional one and I feel at ease when doing this activity.  Its a meditative experience in and by itself.

A COURSE IN MIRACLES

I encountered "A Course In Miracles" quite by chance some eight years ago. I didnt fancy it so much because I found it too drab and boring.  I could'nt understand the language properly and most of all it had all the Christian elements to it which I preferred to stay far away from because of my experience of growing up with so much belief in punishment and guilt and sin, etc. which didnt make sense to me at all.  But I kept coming back to it over and over again, not because of the Course, but because of The Voice behind the Course.  My search for a teacher who could give a non-Christian view to The Course drew a blank. So ACIM was kept aside for leisure reading only ...... that is, until a few days ago when one of my Google+ friends mentioned Tara Singh as being his teacher and how profoundly he affected him.  What??  Tara Singh?  An Indian??  This was really good news and answer to my request to Jeshua to send me someone who would be absolutely right for me.

I must say without prejudice that there is a big difference between Indian spiritual teachers and those of the west.  The western ones like Mooji, Adyashanti, and a few others who have been influenced by Indian / Eastern teachers have a very distinctive way about how they teach and their whole approach comes from a very deep place of knowing, experience and sacred intimacy with Spirit.  Such teachers teach with beautiful and slow pauses.  You have to be totally present with them as they take you into yourself.  The spaces they provide between sentences  enables you fall gently into your own cradle of mystical love you didn't even know existed.  Its like standing on holy ground.

I have nothing but gratitude for this incredible gift in my life at this time.  My friend, Sean Reagan  who is a disciple of Tara Singh's teachings,  seems to me to be such a simple, genuine, down-to-earth and intense Soul.  Listening to what he shares via Youtube gives me a good insight into how much he values The Course and equally his teacher, Tara Singh.

I now feel very committed to giving my full attention to  A Course In Miracles.  I want to do this because I feel it is what I need to do now at this point in time.  Aum.

What is The Christ? The time for learning is over.

"It is in seeking for, 

and asking of,

That which is the highest, 

within you and without you, 

that one comes, therefore, 

to the highest." 

~ Jeshua Letters ~

This is my prayer every day.  I want to get higher and higher in my understanding of Spirit and my holy relationship with All That is.  I want to meet people and teachers who will inspire me to get there by guiding me inwards.   

Today, I am deeply grateful for the gift of a new teacher: Tara Singh.  Many thanks to my Google+ Friend, Sean Reagan, ACIM Teacher and Writer, who shared his thoughts about Tara Singh which caught my attention and led me to further exploration.  First off, Tara's voice is rich, calm and centered.  His tone is meditative.  I love his impression of The Christ based on A Course In Miracles.

Aum

Photo : Anika Maetsch-Siffermann    

My Golden Reminders

I have a little book which I keep in a beautiful sequenced bright  colored  pouch alongwith my prayer beads.  This book holds first-aid pointers to help remind me of my Divinity every time I let my Light fade.  Here are a few notes to me.

* There is only ONE Power and One Force: Spirit. Everything is God. Nothing else exists.

* Do unto others what you would have them unto you. Don't do anything that you would not want anyone else to do to you!

* If you're not feeling joy, then you're in either judgment or resistance mode - or both!

* Don't expect people to love you and understand you. Do that for yourself! Embrace people exactly where they are with no expectation and attachments but only love. If love is hard, try compassion.

* If you find it difficult to forgive, think about what you would have done if you were in that person's shoes. Probably the same or worse. If you knew better, you would have done better. Be Kind. The same consideration should be applied to others.

* Commune with God. Pray. Meditate. Contemplate. Self-Inquire.

* Take DEEP Breaths. The Holy Spirit is in the breathing.

Aum

We Hear YOU Breathing In and Out

I love reading all kinds of spiritual literature.  Doing that confirms many aspects of my beliefs and thoughts about Life.  But the one teaching that keeps drawing me back to it again and again is "The Lord's Prayer". I have been 'saved' by the chanting and  recitation of this incredibly heavenly prayer when I have been in the worst possible situations - and there have been many, believe me!!  Truly, its not just a prayer - its a whole teaching! ... a whole philosophy of Life!  

And Jeshua is my favorite Master.  He keeps drawing me to Him constantly one way or the other.  Therefore, it is only but natural that "Prayers of the Cosmos" holds a very very dear and special place in my heart. It's all about "The Lord's Prayer".  What more can I ask for!!

An Excerpt ...

"O Thou!  The Breathing Life of all,

Creator of the Shimmering Sound

that touches us.

Respiration of all worlds,

we hear YOU breathing in and out -

in silence."

B R E A T H !  
The Elixir of Life.
The Holy Breath is The Holy Spirit.
Breathe Deep.
Inhale Deeply.
Exhale s l o w l y ... and gently.

Aum

So Far, You Haven't Done This

I shared a saying of Jesus from "The Prayers of the Cosmos" with my Soul Sister, Poonam yesterday and we discussed each line and what it could possibly mean.  I felt so good just doing that together with her because it is truly rare to have a spiritual friend with whom you have experienced life in its highest and lowest personally and with each other.  I have a few Beautiful Spirit Friends whom I met through Facebook and though my stint with facebook is over, my connection with them remains unbroken.  Such Friends are like Soul Curry - warm food for the body, mind and spirit.  Poonam and I are Indians and live in the same city, New Delhi. We share a deep history and as we are in the process of peeling off layers and layers of the untrue within us, we are able to support each other in this superb training of Life.  Below is heavenly wisdom and as I savored each line while dropping off to sleep last night because I wanted more clarity and inspiration, I woke up with fresh perspective.  This is the saying of Jesus, The Christ.

And Jesus said

All things that you ask straightly, directly, that you desire -

like an arrow to its mark,

like birds to their watering place -

from the Breathing Life of All, Father-Mother Cosmos,

with my shem -

My experience

My Light and Sound

My Atmosphere, My Word:

from  inside My Name -

you will be given.

So far, you haven't done this.

So ask without hidden motive and be 

surrounded by your answer - 

be enveloped by what you desire -

that your gladness be full -

that the joy of goals met here

   may continue its story to perfection in Unity -

that the animal life in you

find the lover in the cosmos.

~ Prayers of the Cosmos ~

I woke up with fogginess and dullness in my head.  I let it pass naturally without forcing it out.  I felt inspired to be KIND to myself ... to let my Soul spread its Soul Light all over my physical Being and guide me back to the "ISness" of All That Is.  After a couple of hours, I felt inspired to ask what is it have I really not asked?  My answer back was quick - "NOTHING"!! I have asked for nothing valuable throughout my entire life!  What a shock! This needs reviewing.  And as I thought about my needs and wants, etc. I realised with my whole Being, my entire Self, that what I want most today, this moment is to be KIND.

All I want is to be KIND. 

Kind to myself.  Kind to everyone else.  May I be kind unconditionally, with love and no motives to all I come into contact with whether they 'deserve' my kindness or not.   And so I Am immersing myself into the pure world of Kindness by following each line of Jesus's guidance to the last letter possible.

For the Beautiful Soul who is reading this, what does this guidance mean for you?

Aum

The "In-betweens"

As I sit back and recall my life over the years and ponder on what shaped me as an individual, a personality, or whatever, I remember the countless times a 'weird' thought would pass through my mind regarding my relationship with the world, religion, universe, etc.  Some thoughts were so weird that I often wondered if it was just me 'becoming' a 'weirdo' and I would just suppress them.  Infact I suppressed them to such an extent that I lost my Self.

Looking back now I know that no, it was'nt me becoming anything (least of all a weirdo!) but those were me getting glimpses of my True Nature, my Eternal Existence.  Had I followed those thoughts they would have proved to be 'shapeshifters' I am sure ....  they would have also explained why I swung from one end of the pendulum to the other ...  everything was a mess of confusion - the outer and inner just did'nt seem to match up ... it drove me nuts, but this very mess I now call a holy mess because the very nature of questioning began to unlock my mind bit by bit.  

And here I Am living a Life of constant examination inviting every weird, out-of-this-world thought to show up and be welcomed as well as the ones which are hidden deep deep in the recesses of my consciousness waiting to be coaxed and loved back into existence ... into the world of Love.

The purpose of this world and the purpose of being in it now is to drop my beliefs about it and my attachments to it.  To be born again literally means to KNOW that in essence and in truth, I Am unborn in All That Is - no beginning, no end, no past, no future - instead it is like that blank space between thoughts, between the past and the future, between fear and love ... the 'in-between' of all things that is simply unexplainable.

 Aum

I Surrender and Accept. I Am Very Grateful too.

I Surrender to the Love of All That Is.

I Accept and Acknowledge the power of All That Is.

I am Grateful for All That Is.

There is nothing more powerful than the thought (for me) that this life is extremely precious and it is filled with blessings and gifts of love. This Life is Love. Nothing and no one is insignificant. This Life is enriching and fulfilling when accepted exactly as it IS ... When resistance is dropped completely ... When the wish for things to be different is no longer in one's consciousness.  What a relief! Now all the burdens may be dropped willingly and easily.  Sure, nothing will work out according to my expectations, but I no longer care about that.  Its not my concern or interest. Let Life do what it must do. Every day my heart is opening wider and wider to all these facts and deeper and deeper to embrace and comprehend the magnitude and the immensity of this life and the reason for living it.

The gift of choice is not a choice really.  It is Spirit's most deepest way the human brain can understand of the magnitude of love that is behind the teaching of self acceptance and surrender and that Love is the only way. There is no peace in any other pursuit or endeavor. 

I am beyond grateful for my very life.  

I am beyond grateful for all that my life contains in this very moment.

I am beyond grateful for the lessons of soul expansion that drops me deeper and deeper into the ocean of understanding, wisdom and peace.

I am beyond grateful for all of my mistakes, wounds, healing, joy, broken relationships, beautiful friendships, the elements of nature, of all the species ... of everything!!

The vibration of AUM and Her Presence is all encompassing, all loving and deeply trustworthy.  She is THE Power, Force and Love at the back of ALL that the mind can comprehend and beyond.

Aum

No Effort. No Striving.

My morning silence continues as I find my awareness widening and peace deepening. Today, I finally got clued on to the reality of "effortlessness".  It was still a mystery to me and I always thought I did understand it quite a bit, but apparently, I did'nt really.  Whenever I plan and try to take 'action' in doing something, it just never comes out right. In the moment decisions work out amazingly well for me.  I am having many such days now - perfect timing seems to become the theme running through time and space.

"No striving brings the Son to the Father.  No prayer and supplication can achieve it, for these things reside in the world of your creations and thus have nothing of Reality in them."

~ Jeshua Letters ~

This is a thought that keeps coming back to me one way or the other and I am always reminded to contemplate on these words of Jeshua again and again. It is the easy and most simplest things of life that seem unknown to us. We keep looking for complicated stuff to make new discoveries of ourselves. Its like all those contorted yoga positions people strive to master as an exhibition of the art, but all it takes to keep one going throughout the day are simple asanas, stretches and deep breathing!!! I remember  all the physical healing I have  received over the years without any medication whatsoever.  I never talked much about those things to anyone because I was experimenting with the Truth of who I Am and I wanted the experience to be a personal and sacred one. I simply surrendered to the greatest Physician of all - Spirit.  Healing happened with no effort.  All I had to do was be AWARE and keep dropping the false impressions and beliefs I had created in my life. As Jeshua is famously known for saying "go and sin no more". The presence of pain while it was there, was reminding me that there is more work ... keep going ...

And I am still keeping on going ....  I am in awe of Spirit.  

Aum

The Rhythm of Silence

I have started a new discipline which is becoming the ground of my Being.  I'm not sure why I didn't think about it earlier ... perhaps I would not have understood its value appropriately at that time I guess.

Its been a few days since I started a vigil of silence from the time I wake up till 12 noon. I broke the rhythm today absent-mindedly out of sheer excitement (note to myself: be more conscious!) because so many new things are suddenly beginning to happen and inspiration is flowing into my heart like a thin stream of fresh water from somewhere beyond me.  I feel different ... calmer ... in-charge ... slow ... rhythmic ... confident ... sure of what I no longer wish to foster ... the stuff I thought would be difficult to release seem so much easier now ... a whole new set of interests are lighting up my environment ... the list is long and I have only just started!  

This new phase is so welcome because the last two years have been rather stressed as a Caregiver and boundaries were getting blurred more often than I could count.  I was beginning to get sucked in and as I try to  continue to remember that I am a hero in my own world and only I know what I want and how I can change my situation ... ahem! that motivational self talk did'nt work nor were my other efforts.  Efforts.  Ah! that was the key word - too much effort was being put in to change the situation which made the task even more difficult.  I asked myself how can  I bring about change effortlessly.  I got my answer almost immediately because suddenly this thought came out at me like a bolt from the blue at a time when heart palpitations were rising and my hope for change was sinking rapidly.

Spend half a day in silence and self study before emerging into the world each and every day.

Let this be your new discipline.

Well, they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.   And that is exactly how I feel now.  My golden teacher of Silence has has put forth its gift in front of me and I have been doing pretty good.  Straight, simple, to-the-point guidance.  

Blessed Be.

The Lord's Prayer ~ Mooji's Version

The Lord's Prayer for me is totally amazing and mystical. I love ALL Versions.  Here's one from one of my most respected and beloved teachers, Mooji.

Beloved Father,

Who dwells within the soul of my Being

Whose name is

I Am

Veneration to your holy name

Thy kingdom is here

Thy will prevails throughout the earth

as it does in the heavenly realms of my soul

You open your hands

and satisfy the hunger of all living beings

You heal all hearts of sorrow

So that they in turn may show forgiveness

to those whose minds

are shrouded in ignorance of the Self

Beloved Mother 

Who imparts to all the sense of choice

so we may finally come to choose

You

who are Truth

and thus find everlasting freedom

Glory to your name

Oh Truth

For yours is the kingdom of existence

of peace and love

All power and glory emanates from

You alone

Who imparts to all

the wisdom, the light, the love and courage

to refer to themselves as

I Am

Amen Om

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF9yXAFAuos&feature=em-uploademail

Photo Credit: Mooji

My Unique Self

I have spent the last fifteen days in very intense interactions with my Soul.  I think it has something to do with the intense energies on the planet. Its been good, heavy, not so good, freaky, and some other choice words!  But this morning I woke up to a realization that answered ALL of my past queries in just three points:

Unceasing Prayer

Essential (Voice of My Soul)

Extras (The Voice of the world)

Stick with Unceasing Prayer

Listen only to the Voice of my Soul (Essential)

Cease listening to the voice of the world (Extras)

The story below is significant because no matter how flawed I may feel at times, the "flawedness" in and by itself has a soul purpose. Nobody in this world knows me. Only I KNOW me. My suffering ceases the moment I start operating from a deeper trust and an awareness of own Inner Voice. My purpose is to grow vertically, not horizontally.

A STORY

THE CRACKED WATER POT

By Sacinandana Swami

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on one end of the pole he carried across the back of his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream, the cracked pot arrived only half full. This went on every day for two years, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master’s house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishment and saw itself as perfectly suited for the purpose for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived as bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws you have to work without getting the full value of your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and out of compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the wildflowers on the side of the path. The pot felt cheered.

But at the end of the trail, the pot still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and again it apologized for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I knew about your flaw and took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them for me. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. If you were not just the way you are, he would not have such beauty to grace his house.