Being a Good Steward of My Life!

Notes To My Self ~ On Saturday I was down with an extremely painful migrane – well all migranes are painful, but each time I get one, I seem to feel it’s the worse of all.  I guess it’s the illusive workings of the mind.  Anyway, I was down and as always, I re-emerged refreshed on Sunday and a day slimmer because I am never able to take in a morsel of food as long as the pain is present.  But I have turned these now-much-lesser-frequent migranes into a spiritual meditation. I wondered what I needed to do the most in my life this new year and even before I completed the sentence, my mind just started flooding up with thoughts and inspirations and surprisingly there were no confused questions but very clear guidance.  

I am directed to have a quiet and gentle year.  That's good. I need the time to sort out my priorities about everything from my daily living to my relationships, personal interests, my 'me' time, etc. etc.  Turns out I do not have to make too much effort because as I read the fifth Foundation of Adyashanti's The Way of Liberation - Be a Good Steward of Your Life, it became increasingly clear how I should live in each moment.  In fact the guidance was so clear and resonated with me so much that I knew at once what I need to drop and what I can pursue.  There are so many wounded parts in me that still need complete healing and I can recognise those parts by merely observing how I react to situations and people and their reactions to me.  Do I feel hurt, upset, angry? Why? Its only the ego and has no real existence, but the habit of the mind has made it real.  Something else also came into my view yesterday that was such a leading and a million dollar question from a very soul searching deep question Byron Katie asked in her post....... 

Did you just choose precisely what would hurt you most?  If so, what were you thinking just before ‘you’ made the choice? Inquire.

I inquired! I am a master at precisely that!!!  I simply have a penchant to keep repeating stuff.  I waste my time on stuff that don't hold any more value, on people who are not even interested in keeping up a connection, on trying to infuse life and love into practically non-existent relationships (well the 'relationships' are there by default) but that is all there is to it - a default! and yet I am trying to refresh them.  I waste so much time on books that no longer have any meaning for me but I just keep reading them because I have bought them, and so on and so forth.  I keep coming back in circles constantly.  I could see in my mind's eye what I would be without all of that stuff and I felt loads lighter!! How would I feel if I just blanketed everyone with as much love and understanding I could share and allow everyone else to choose how they want to live without my seeming neediness to have them notice me too? Awesome! Just Freaking Awesome!!  When you are full up with the Light shining brightly from within you, you dont need shadows cos there aren't any shadows once the spot lights are on. For an eternally happy life keep the spotlight on 'you' by watching every moment my thoughts and where I Am present precisely - some far off non-existent past or the very intense, profound, present moment?? Everything else begins to disappear.  There's only the Light and 'you'.  That 'you' - who is that 'you'? Inquire!

And that indeed is my cue!

Aum.

To read The Way of Liberation go here http://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Way-of-Liberation-by-Adyashanti.pdf