Dear Beloved Self, Through out Life , (if one sits to meditate upon on it) one will find that there is a dominant label we hold for ourselves and live according to that label. Whatever the label, they all eventually fall into two major labels: Love and Fear. I am discovering various ways to be in Love. But I am also discovering how to embrace Fear/Dark as something I created and so no one can really remove the darkness/fear unless I am willing to do so myself. Once I agree to remove and release a fear based thought and habit, I see how easy it is to leave the rest to the Holy Spirit/Source. Once that is done, the rest just moves effortlessly. To be in Love is to be in Light. To be in Light means to lighten one's burden of all that is fearsome in our hearts and minds. I get it. I've got it a zillion times and yet I forget so often!!
Today I want to talk about a big hurdle I had imposed on myself: resistance. I am nursing my mother who is practically bed ridden with a hip surgery. My mother and I have many lessons to learn in trust - trusting each other for starters. I can see how mystically Life has placed us in a situation where everything we say and do at this point is based on complete trust with each other. If we didnt practice this throughout our lives, the Universe was offering yet another chance to start a new direction in our relationship. She needs to trust that I will take care of her with unconditional commitment towards her healing and without dropping her down between the bed and wheelchair amongst other things. I need to trust that I can do it! I need to trust that it is not me but Spirit working through me. I need to reign in my impatience and begin a path of deep listening and patience. I am ready for it. Till yesterday it was impossible for me to even go there.
Last night I decided to have a heart to heart with Spirit. Lesson 49 of "A Course In Miracles" kept turning in my head. "God's Voice speaks to me all through the day." As Marianne Williamson says "There are no different categories of love. There isn't one kind of love between a mother and a child, another between lovers, and another between friends. The love that is real is the love that lies at the heart of all relationships. That is the love of God and it does'nt change with form or circumstance." ~ excerpted from "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles". I surrendered everything to God. I asked God to watch over us and surround us with angels so that we may both be well rested to start fresh tomorrow with a new approach. Even though I know Spirit never leaves us a single moment, but me saying it made it a real request for help and renewal of my commitment to change. I had been up since 3 a.m. and managed to take a shower only at night before going to bed. I asked for a good start the next morning.
A New Day! This morning I heard my mother calling out. She needed help with her morning routines. As usual, as I started to help her, her every day angry dramas started. I asked her to have some faith and trust and before I could finish my sentence, she hollered at me that she does have faith, but her feet were slipping on the floor and could'nt get on them. Okay. I checked the time. It was 6 a.m. and not 3 a.m.!! That was a good start! Suddenly I felt a surge of faith. I did get a good night's sleep. I was not hollered up at 3 a.m. Wow! something to work with now. I closed my eyes briefly and asked God to direct me. After that everything went like a dream.
I wore my neck collar because I do have a severe cervical problem. And like a soldier went into the field! I started a line of action I never got inspired to do earlier.
I began to recognize her deep fear. I recognized my own place in God's world. I saw her in God's world too. I created a little sacred space on the dressing table which was in her direct vision. I placed the photo of The Divine Mercy because she has faith in Jesus in that aspect. I lit a candle, burned incense and switched on spiritual chants. It suddenly changed the whole atmosphere in the bedroom. Then I started communicating with her my next action in order for her to get mentally prepared. I told her that I was lifting her up from the bed to the chair and even though her feet were slipping, she must have faith that I will take every care to not hurt her. She did. Suddenly she became very submissive and open to instructions. Her mood changed. Everything started happening as if in a dream. I even took the opportunity to cut her hair as well. She wanted tea. She's addicted to tea. I bargained with her. With every meal she eats, she will get a little tea. She gives a lot of trouble to eat proper meals. She agreed. I served her breakfast.
As I cleaned her up and allowed her to do whatever she could do for herself and finally took that leap of faith with her right from the wheelchair back to the bed, she smiled and said thank you!!
She said THANK YOU!! That's a first.
And I will keep listening to the Voice of God. Thank you Dear Self. I can speak to You because I Am as You created me.
Today I want to talk about a big hurdle I had imposed on myself: resistance. I am nursing my mother who is practically bed ridden with a hip surgery. My mother and I have many lessons to learn in trust - trusting each other for starters. I can see how mystically Life has placed us in a situation where everything we say and do at this point is based on complete trust with each other. If we didnt practice this throughout our lives, the Universe was offering yet another chance to start a new direction in our relationship. She needs to trust that I will take care of her with unconditional commitment towards her healing and without dropping her down between the bed and wheelchair amongst other things. I need to trust that I can do it! I need to trust that it is not me but Spirit working through me. I need to reign in my impatience and begin a path of deep listening and patience. I am ready for it. Till yesterday it was impossible for me to even go there.
Last night I decided to have a heart to heart with Spirit. Lesson 49 of "A Course In Miracles" kept turning in my head. "God's Voice speaks to me all through the day." As Marianne Williamson says "There are no different categories of love. There isn't one kind of love between a mother and a child, another between lovers, and another between friends. The love that is real is the love that lies at the heart of all relationships. That is the love of God and it does'nt change with form or circumstance." ~ excerpted from "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles". I surrendered everything to God. I asked God to watch over us and surround us with angels so that we may both be well rested to start fresh tomorrow with a new approach. Even though I know Spirit never leaves us a single moment, but me saying it made it a real request for help and renewal of my commitment to change. I had been up since 3 a.m. and managed to take a shower only at night before going to bed. I asked for a good start the next morning.
A New Day! This morning I heard my mother calling out. She needed help with her morning routines. As usual, as I started to help her, her every day angry dramas started. I asked her to have some faith and trust and before I could finish my sentence, she hollered at me that she does have faith, but her feet were slipping on the floor and could'nt get on them. Okay. I checked the time. It was 6 a.m. and not 3 a.m.!! That was a good start! Suddenly I felt a surge of faith. I did get a good night's sleep. I was not hollered up at 3 a.m. Wow! something to work with now. I closed my eyes briefly and asked God to direct me. After that everything went like a dream.
I wore my neck collar because I do have a severe cervical problem. And like a soldier went into the field! I started a line of action I never got inspired to do earlier.
I began to recognize her deep fear. I recognized my own place in God's world. I saw her in God's world too. I created a little sacred space on the dressing table which was in her direct vision. I placed the photo of The Divine Mercy because she has faith in Jesus in that aspect. I lit a candle, burned incense and switched on spiritual chants. It suddenly changed the whole atmosphere in the bedroom. Then I started communicating with her my next action in order for her to get mentally prepared. I told her that I was lifting her up from the bed to the chair and even though her feet were slipping, she must have faith that I will take every care to not hurt her. She did. Suddenly she became very submissive and open to instructions. Her mood changed. Everything started happening as if in a dream. I even took the opportunity to cut her hair as well. She wanted tea. She's addicted to tea. I bargained with her. With every meal she eats, she will get a little tea. She gives a lot of trouble to eat proper meals. She agreed. I served her breakfast.
As I cleaned her up and allowed her to do whatever she could do for herself and finally took that leap of faith with her right from the wheelchair back to the bed, she smiled and said thank you!!
She said THANK YOU!! That's a first.
And I will keep listening to the Voice of God. Thank you Dear Self. I can speak to You because I Am as You created me.
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