I found GOD

 

I found God! !!!!!!  What a strange proclamation from someone who has been on the spiritual path since the last 18 years. 

What exactly does that mean?  Well,  what have I been doing all this time if I have not already found God? Quite simple.  Walking on my path and learning along the way ABOUT what IS of God and what IS not of God.  I was also exposed to many many stories and books and articles   ABOUT  God.  It has taken me this long to discover that there is a BIG difference.  All good stuff for sure. All best sellers and widely acclaimed genuinely beautiful Souls who are making a huge difference in the world. They are serving a purpose and doing amazing things creating magic and miracles in their lives and in the lives of others. All have found God in their own way and expressing their own Divinity in a world that has space for everyone. But there are those few rare Souls who guide you to focus on God Alone. That's the part I have been missing.  Paramahansa Yoganada suggests that we seek THE GIVER not His phenomenal Gifts. I read this guidance many years ago, but it has taken this long a time to actually sink in and get it!

And yet, I felt something still missing in my life.  I had'nt really 'softened'.  I was still 'hard'.  There was an essence, an ingredient missing.  I was still viewing life from the lenses of the world.  I was still anxious about my health, relationships and finances.  I was still wanting something or the other.  I was still restless. I was still feeling triggered.  I was okay for a while and then I would be back to the same old rut.  I think I just got so tired - more tired than I have ever been before.  So, more than a month ago I decided to bury myself in all my inadequacies and dissatisfactions and pain and fear and what-not and not emerge till I found my answers.  I do this often and it has always taken me one step further. Nothing goes to waste.  All that we learn along the journey has a purpose to it.  No learning is complete in itself. Its an eternal beautiful journey and along the distance, you just create a space and acknowledge everyone you meet. Let them know they belong. Most of us need permission because we are still ruled by fear a lot of the times. We remember to give ourselves that permission every day so that we can empower ourselves for the next leg of the journey.  These were the thoughts that were strolling around in my mind.

And then it just happened! 

Last week I had made a list of all the stuff that still plagued my life alongwith action and possible solutions or outcomes.  I stared at my list.  No enlightening moments.  Just dread.  Just the whole idea of dealing with them all again and again made this task wearisome.

I sat in despair for a long time and just did nothing.  When I came back to the list, a sudden flash just lit my whole mind.  God IS the answer.  

Ahem! I know! Aint I on 'the spiritual path' Bright Spark?

Yes! said my Bright Spark - "there's manifestation and then, there's manifestation." 

And in that moment some simple deep Truth questions just burst into my consciousness with clarity.  Everything IS God.  But how aware of God am I?  Do I spend time communing with Him/Her or am I just busy learning and working on tools to manifest wellbeing and goodness in my life?

All answers to those questions are right depending where you are in the moment.  Life works differently for each Soul. Life has a very unique relationship with each Being. That is Life's purpose - to commune deeply and intimately with each Soul, but few listen - very few indeed.  I have never listened fully, properly and deeply before, but this day, the very present NOW MOMENT, I had the perfect answer for me.  The question was always seeking me as was the answer finding me.  It all became an experiential Truth for me.

I looked at my list once again and wrote: GOD IS THE ANSWER TO EVERY SINGLE POINT ON THAT LIST.

And then I felt a deep peace descend upon me.  I had this deep melting, molten longing for God. I found God in the deep silence of my Soul, in that surrendering and letting go completely.  Releasing every phoniness.  I want to MANIFEST God - not just His/Her Gifts.  I want to just sit with God and catch up with this Awesome Being of Love within me and talk with and commune with IT.  I guess in that moment I really understood what "effortless" really means. There comes a time in your life when all that you have ever learned in the world does'nt seem relevant enough for you personally. But in the web of Life it is important to acknowledge, learn and share so that another Beautiful SouI will become part of all of creation.  And so, I am so honored and deeply grateful for their contribution because each and everyone of it gave me more confidence and faith. But in order for my part of the web to shine brilliantly, I have to take that leap of faith alone and solo and use my Inner Light to direct and guide me.  I must acknowledge my own GPS so to speak and trust it to take me where I am needed to be. There is a preciously unique Jewel in each Being's Sacred Heart and in that Heart The Only Power and Presence dwells delighting in Itself and wanting to dance a different dance through each Soul and sing a different tune.  God wants to just delight and be in delight.  It wants to be born anew every moment.  Why not delight and be reborn every moment and make it wildly fun as well?

  

I found God.  Period.  When everything is completely handed over to God, I don't need to actually think about what to 'do' nor do I need to sit with techniques to manifest.  Just the deep longing for God does it all.  And soon I discovered I really don't need the world or anybody for my happiness.  The world is there and it is my utmost and rare privilege to just shine and dance from my deepest core. 

The world IS what I Am.